Tiffany
by zashaxander
Summary: Perhaps she doesn't want saving. Perhaps she just can't be saved.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

"Come on, Stanley, you know I'm good for it."

"I don't know anything about you, _Tiffany._"

"What, really? Two dollars for a day old donut and bad coffee? Please, come on, I'll get you after my shift."

"Hah, you think you'll make that much?"

"Alright, you know what? I hope that big Mo tows your Chevy, that your crap coffee gives you an ulcer, and that you die of psoriasis. Hey, do you mind?" Tiffany exclaimed to the woman who had appeared behind her, waving some money she had just extracted from her expensive purse. "You can get your non-fat latte in a minute alright?"

Maura continued to proffer her five dollar bill; not only was she generally inclined towards helping those in need, there was also something about this woman that fascinated her. She seemed so much more intelligent, interesting, than the average... lady of the night.

"No, it's for you," she said kindly. "And given the vitamin D deficiency likely from your, uhm, from your night work, you're better off with some plain yoghurt and some leafy greens."

"I have my lice under control, thank you. But Stanley here has psoriasis."

"Psoriasis is not contagious, it's a genetic disease."

"What about rudeness? Is that genetic too?"

"I was simply trying to be nice," Maura said, frowning. She hadn't thought her kindness would be taken this way. It didn't bother her overly, though. She was rather enjoying the witty comments and eye rolls coming from the taller woman.

"Well not every hooker has a heart of gold, alright sister?"

"Apparently not, sister." Maura raised her eyebrows to accompany her remark, then handed Stanley the money and picked up the coffee and donut before Tiffany could say anything else. She took them to a table.

"Dr Maura Isles," she said, holding out her hand as soon as she had put down her purchases.

Tiffany bit hungrily into her donut, ignoring the hand. Unfazed, Maura sat down opposite her and watched her eat.

"You have very good teeth," she commented.

"Thanks," Tiffany said sarcastically. Maura smiled, not picking up on Tiffany's tone.

"Why are you at the police headquarters?"

"They were interviewing me. Got picked up."

"But not arrested?"

"I guess I was helpful. Why are _you _at the police headquarters?"

"I work here. I'm the chief medical examiner?"

"You're the what?"

"I work in the-"

"No, I know what it is. You just don't look like someone who cuts up dead people for a living."

"It's actually a lot more complicated-"

"Whatever."

"You needn't be so rude. I did just buy you breakfast."

"Needn't? Who says _needn't_?"

"I was educated in England- Anyway. Why do you have a problem with me?"

"I don't have a problem with you," Tiffany lied.

"So you speak to everybody like this?"

"Pretty much. You don't seem like a prospective client."

Maura chuckled. Tiffany gulped down her coffee and stood up.

"Thanks," she said a little awkwardly. Maura got up too.

"Well, don't go, I mean, can I give you a lift somewhere?"

"Thanks, I'm good," Tiffany said, turning on the sarcastic sweetness again.

Maura wouldn't give up. "Where are you going? Really, I have a new car, I'd love to drive you somewhere."

"I wouldn't want to mess up your car."

Maura finally began to pick up on the sarcasm. She folded her arms, and when Tiffany made to leave, Maura followed her.

They got to the steps outside the building before Tiffany turned around to yell at her new stalker.

"What the hell do you want, _Dr Isles_?"

Maura shrugged. "I'm a scientist. I'm curious about you."

"Well, bad luck, I don't want to be your guinea pig!"

"I don't want to experiment on you. Although in fact, most lab experiments are performed on mice, not guinea pigs."

"Oh, that's fascinating, thank you so much for telling me! Is your life really that boring that you want to follow me all day?"

Maura winked. "The dead people can get a little dull. They don't have much conversation."

Tiffany laughed before she could stop herself. Annoying as she was, there was something about the medical examiner that entertained her.

"If I agree to let you give me a lift, will you leave me alone after that?"

"It's much more likely."

Tiffany groaned. "Fine. Where is this new car?"

Maura pointed to the black sports car at the bottom of the steps.

"Really?" Tiffany exclaimed.

"I like cars."

"Can..." Tiffany trailed off.

"Can you drive it? Do you have a licence?"

Tiffany grinned and produced one, which Maura immediately identified as fake.

"I'm sorry. Like I said, it's a new car," she said, seeming genuinely sad she couldn't let Tiffany drive.

"Don't worry about it," Tiffany said, getting into the passenger seat. Maura walked around to get in on the driver's side. Maura glanced over at Tiffany's long, fishnet-covered legs. Tiffany hitched her skirt up another inch.

"See something you like?" she asked.

Maura smiled. "Oh, I haven't done anything like that for a long time."

"Well, it's 100 bucks, if you change your mind."

Maura chuckled. "Do you have any friends, Tiffany?"

Tiffany made a face. "Firstly, I don't need saving. Secondly, I don't need friends. Why are you so interested in me?"

"You're interesting. You're far more intelligent than you behave. I wonder..."

"What a nice girl like me is doing in a place like this? I could ask you the same thing with much more authority – you're a far nicer girl. Why do you hang around dead people?"

Maura shrugged. "I prefer them to live ones."

"Wow. That's..."

"Strange. I know."

Tiffany had actually been thinking that it was quite sad. "Maybe I like what I do," she said.

"Maybe? Do you like it?"

"Sometimes. It's like any job I guess. It has good days and- Why am I even telling you this? Also, where are you driving?"

"To my house."

"Why do I get the feeling that I'm being kidnapped?"

"You're not. But I thought you might like a proper breakfast. You can use my hot tub, too."

Tiffany knew this was a bad idea. A very bad idea. But she had seen Maura's ID, Maura had been at the precinct, and she hadn't ever had a hot tub to herself.

"I'm not working..." she said, just making sure.

"And I'm not interested. You're worth more than a hundred, though."

Tiffany laughed. "Thanks."

"You might work on your wardrobe, though."

"You're criticising my clothes now?"

"Clothing says a lot about a person, and it can be very expressive and interesting."

"If you say so."

Maura pulled into a large drive and got out of the car. She unlocked the door to her house and led Tiffany through to the kitchen.

"Being chief medical examiner pays pretty well too," Tiffany muttered. Maura opened the fridge and took out a bowl of strawberries. She took the cling film off it and put it on the counter.

"Were you in the cells all night?"

It was Tiffany's turn to shrug. "It's not the first night I've spent in a cell."

"But you must be tired."

"I am. Look, this is all lovely, really, but I should get going. I don't know why you're doing this, maybe you're just a born philanthropist, but I should go home. I don't need charity, I like my life just the way it is."

"Then why did you get into my car?"

"Because you said you were giving me a lift. I thought I was choosing the destination."

"And you are. This is just a pit stop."

"I think you've watched Pretty Woman one too many times."

"Doesn't Richard Gere sleep with Julia Roberts before he decides to help her?"

Tiffany grinned. "Yes. I suppose so. But... why do you want to help me?"

"Because... I don't know, I saw Stanley being mean to you and I liked the way you stood up to him. I just wanted to give you the money. But I find you... interesting."

Tiffany made a face.

"You really need to get out more. I... I gotta go."

She began to walk towards the door. Maura beat her to the exit.

"At least let me take you somewhere?"

"Fine. Since you brought me all the way out here, you might as well drive me back."

While she wished she could have a swim in the tub, Tiffany knew no good would come of it. There was no such thing as a free lunch; that's what her mother had always said. Her dead end mother in her one room apartment, alone since her no good father had left, and he had only been a mediocre plumber. Tiffany wouldn't be surprised if one day soon she joined her brother in prison, or her other brother, six feet under. There was no point in getting a taste for a better life.

Maura knew it was strange, knew it wasn't appropriate... But she hadn't been able to help herself. Tiffany was just so... Well her eyes were hypnotic, for one thing. They got back into the car and Maura drove to the street Tiffany named. Tiffany stopped her at a nondescript corner, a few blocks from her mother's place.

"Thanks for the breakfast, and the lift," Tiffany said, her voice gentle and sincere.

Maura reached into her purse. "Here, at least take my card," she said. Tiffany sighed, but she accepted the printed rectangle with Maura's phone number and address.

"If you need anything-" Maura began.

"I'll get it myself," Tiffany finished firmly, but she tucked the card safely into her pocket as she got out of the car.

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A/N: Thanks for reading, this is my first Rizzoli and Isles fic so I hope you liked it! There will be more soon, love you, please please review xxx


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Tiffany's feet hurt, her head ached, she was exhausted... She watched Maura drive away out of the corner of her eye and waited until the car was out of sight before turning onto the street where she lived. She changed quickly, took off her make up, decided she could shower later, and resignedly pulled a wad of cash out of the sock where she kept it and stuffed it in her pocket. She brushed her teeth and shook a hand through her tangled hair as she looked into the stained, cracked mirror. And there she was. Back to plain Jane Rizzoli.

Her heels clanged on the rusty metal staircase; she wrinkled her nose at the smell of urine as her ears adjusted to the familiar sound of screaming babies, fighting and shouting. Graffiti covered the walls; a man was huddled in her mother's doorway. When he saw her he stood up and grinned.

"Vanilla!"

"Hey, Rondo," Jane sighed.

"Bad night?"

"State accommodation."

Rondo chuckled. "You should get better at staying away from the brass."

Jane shrugged. "At least the heat was on. Got switched off at my place. How's my mother?"

"She ain't been out."

"Right. Thanks. I'll see ya," Jane said, letting herself in and nodding goodbye to her friend.

"Ma?" she called, looking around the tiny room. It was filthy, littered with old take out cartons and dirty clothes.

"Janey, that you?" came a weak mumble from the bed in the corner.

"Yes ma, it's me," Jane said, going over to the bed. "How are you feeling?"

"Could be worse. Did you bring my rent money?"

"Yes, ma, I brought it." Jane neglected to mention that since she'd spent the night in lockup, the money she was handing over was actually her own rent.

Angela sat up in bed.

"Thank you, honey."

"No problem, Ma. You want me to clean up in here a bit?"

Angela shook her head. "No, that's alright, I do it. You look tired, you should go home and get some sleep."

"Yeah... If you're sure you're okay. Rondo's around, if you need anything. And I'll leave some quarters for the phone."

"The cable bill's due..."

Jane reluctantly took the last of her money out of her pocket and put it on the night stand.

"There."

She looked over at the little TV, blaring away in the corner. It never seemed to be off. She didn't have the heart to tell her mother the cable channels were a waste of money... It was all Angela had for company in the long, long nights.

Angela kissed her on the cheek. "I love you, sweetheart."

"I love you too, Ma," Jane said, heading for the door.

The November air was more than chilly; she kept her hands in her pockets as she walked to the free clinic. It was over a mile, but she didn't even want to spend money on the bus. At least it was warm in the waiting room when she got there.

She signed herself in, then sat and looked at the peeling wallpaper as a child with a very runny nose played with a plastic truck that had two wheels missing. She couldn't even tell if the kid was a boy or a girl... It was just one of those children. One of those children, just like she had been... One of those children who was going absolutely nowhere.

They called her name and she went through to the nurse; she didn't need to see the doctor, it was just for her blood test.

"The usual," she said, smiling. The nurse knew her well enough to give her a knowing smile. Jane didn't even wince as her blood was taken; she did this every month.

"You'll be back tomorrow for the results?"

"Yes. Thanks."

The nurse checked the door was closed, then handed Jane a little white container of vitamin pills.

"I'm only supposed to give them to kids. But there's no way to count. Take care, Jane."

Jane smiled and pocketed the pills. "Thanks. But why give me them?"

"Because I know you'll actually take them, rather than trying to sell them."

Jane laughed. "They can't be worth much."

"I think most people sell them as other things. And here." The nurse handed her a paper bag. Jane rolled her eyes, but accepted that too, just as she always did.

"Until next month," she said, standing up.

"Take care," the nurse said gently. Jane grinned.

"I will."

She shivered as she went back outside, really not looking forward to the walk home. Hands back in her pockets, she felt Maura's card, and couldn't help wondering what Maura would be doing...

In fact, Maura was shivering too. She was very accustomed to the cold of the morgue, but today it seemed even cooler than usual. It had more than a little to do with the body on her table. A woman, late twenties, beautiful... They'd picked her up in some dark alleyway, she'd been beaten and left to die, but she had suffered for hours. Tiffany had been taken in for questioning about her death, but had insisted she didn't know her, not even her street name.

Murder was always horrible, but this woman made Maura feel even worse. It had been so brutal, Another woman had been found in a similar state a week ago... Maura was sure the fist marks on the bodies would match. The killer was still out there, and he was probably looking for more woman to abuse. More woman like Tiffany. Maura still didn't know what it was about Tiffany which 'attracted' her, but she found herself worrying to the point where she gave herself a stomach ache.

She performed the autopsy with her usual perfect detail; she spent the whole day looking for something to lead the detectives to the murderer. She didn't find much, only strong evidence that the same man had beaten both women, and that both women had been prostitutes. The day wore on and at 6pm Maura finished for the day, washing her hands thoroughly and changing back into her designer dress.

She drove home; her car still smelled like Tiffany's cheap perfume. She let herself into her house and took off her shoes. There were little scratches from Tiffany's stiletto heels on her hardwood floor, but she almost liked them. She checked her phone but there were no messages; she'd had her cell with her all day so that was completely normal.

She went into her bathroom and decided to run a bath. While it filled, she went back to the kitchen to get a glass of wine. It had been a long, unproductive day.

Maura folded her clothes as she took them off. It was a habit she'd had since childhood; she even folded things before she put them in the laundry basket. She sipped her wine and tested the water with her toe. It was a little warm, but she got in anyway, wanting to chase the cold from outside right out of her body.

Dozens of tiny jets swirled the water around her and forced her to relax; her lavender bubble bath soothed her skin and mind as its smell crept into her nostrils. She took another sip of wine, then closed her eyes.

Jane shuddered as what felt like freezing cold water blasted onto her skin; the heat was still off, but she was not going another day without a shower. She scrubbed herself quickly; she'd wash her hair in the sink after heating water on the stove. She jumped out as soon as possible and rubbed her goose-pimpled body with a ragged towel. She'd slept all day; she needed to be out in an hour or the boys would have a go at her.

She wrapped the towel around herself ate some stale crackers as the water heated for her hair, and popped a vitamin pill. She kicked her clothes into the pile of laundry in the corner, then poured the water into the sink. She washed her hair, enjoying the warmth of at least one part of her body. When it was fully rinsed, she moved the towel to her head and went to her closet, shimmying into lacy black panties and tight leather pants. It was so cold! They had zips all the way down the sides of both legs though, so they'd be alright. She put on a top that wasn't much more than a fancy red bra, and shrugged on her usual faux fur jacket. She rubbed her hair with the towel until it was dry enough to cascade down her back in its usual mane of curls, then went back into the bathroom to do her make-up in front of the mirror.

Maura got out of the bath and dried herself with a fluffy towel, then wrapped herself in her warm, soft robe. She finished her wine, then treated herself to a chocolate cookie. It had been that kind of a day. Staying in her robe, she curled up on her couch and turned on the TV to catch the evening news. She poured herself another glass of wine, but got up to put the bottle away. Though she felt quite tired, she was far from being ready to sleep. She couldn't stop thinking about Tiffany, about... She poured the wine down the sink and went into her walk in closet, taking out jeans and a thick sweater. She wore her ugg boots too, and her puffa jacket. She grabbed her wallet and keys, and found herself back in her car, driving back to the same corner where she had dropped her passenger that morning.

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A/N: Thanks for reading, and for all the wonderful response so far! I hope you liked this chapter, love you, please review xxx (And if there's still any confusion, yes, Tiffany is Jane!)


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Maura drove through the dark, shivering despite the heat from her air con blasting into the car. She couldn't get the face of the dead girl out of her mind, or rather, couldn't get Tiffany's cold dead face on a metal slab staring at her through empty-

She drove faster. She was almost at the corner where she had dropped Tiffany off. She didn't even know what she was going to do when she got there, she just knew she had to go, she had to try... She never did things like this. Then again, she didn't imagine many people did. She did do things, unusual things, adventurous things, charitable things, strange things... But this didn't fit into any category she'd ever entered before.

She slowed down. She was there. There was no one in sight. She bit her lip, thinking. What would a detective do? S

She took out her cell.

"Detective Korsak? I'm so sorry to call so late-"

"Dr Isles? Don't worry about it. What can I do for you?"

"I... Where did you pick up the... uh, the woman you interviewed and held last night?"

"Is it about the case?"

"Yes," Maura said, feeling her heart rate increase and her chest tighten even at this tiny lie. Thankfully, Korsak didn't ask her any more questions. He gave her an address and she put it into her sat nav; it was about a ten minute drive away. She drove right on the speed limit, gripping the steering wheel too tight. Each minute felt like an hour, and with each one she felt her hope drain, felt her fears grow, felt her eyes sting even at the things her imagination could put into her head.

There were more lights; she passed a few shops. She supposed this was more likely. She had no idea.

She drove on and began to see women, the right sort of women. But none of them were Tiffany. They were too young, too old, to short... And none of them were anything like as beautiful. This morning, she had been interested and amused. But her day of work had turned her playful curiosity into terror, and into true compassion. She didn't understand it, she could probably think of something scientific to explain why she cared so much more about Tiffany than all of these other women, but even if she had done that, it wouldn't have helped.

She was too late. She should have come out earlier, driven faster, not stayed so long in the bath, warm and safe and pampered... Tiffany was probably taken for the night, with someone else, with someone else who might be the killer, who might-

Maura forced herself not to think the worst. It would do no good. She drove up and down, scrutinising each woman more carefully. Their concentration increased as she approached some kind of club; she supposed this must be where they were based, if you could call it that. She had slowed down so much some of them were leaning to look into her car. She continued to drive; most of them seemed fairly surprised to find that she was a woman. She supposed her car wasn't a very girly car, but that was very sexist. She continued to look for Tiffany; a woman was walking out of the club.

She was tall enough- Maura smiled with relief and pulled over. She would recognise that mane of dark hair anywhere. She got out of the car, locked it, and hurried over to Tiffany.

Jane stared at the well wrapped up woman making a beeline for her. It was the medical examiner from the morning, the medical examiner she'd been thinking about on and off all day.

"What are you doing here?" she muttered when Maura got to her.

"I..." Maura hadn't really thought this part through. One of the bouncers of the club appeared behind Jane.

"Hey, you're not going to make any money talking to her," he said roughly. Jane told him to stick it, but frowned at Maura.

"I don't know why you're here, but I'm working. Whatever it is, now is not the time."

"So there is a time?"

"I don't even know what you're talking about. But, probably not! Go home, Dr Isles."

"Call me Maura."

"Okay. But Maura, you should go home."

Maura bit her lip, but then she smiled. She had an idea.

"Come with me."

"What? No, I can't, I told you, I'm working."

"I know. I'll pay."

"You'll pay- what? What is it you want?"

"I want you to come home with me."

"Look, someone's going to steal your car or something, stop wasting your time and go home. I don't do women."

"I don't want you to _do _me. But if you get paid, what's the difference."

"But what do you want to do with me?"

Maura shrugged. "Haven't decided yet." She started back towards her car, looking over her shoulder. "You coming?"

Jane looked around at the grimy street, at the bouncer; thought about the kinds of men she usually met-

She hurried after Maura. The bouncer grabbed her arm.

"Hey! You're working."

"I know, she's hiring me," Jane said aggressively. He leered at her.

"Really? I didn't know you did women."

"There's a lot you don't know about me honey," she said, flashing him a wink and a smile before getting into Maura's car. Maura chuckled. Jane made a face.

"He's going to be fantasising about us all night."

Maura laughed harder as she started to drive.

"What?"

"It's just... considering your line of work, I find it amusing that his fantasising bothers you."

Jane had to smile. "Okay, I see your point. But it's... different. Maybe I wouldn't mind so much if he was paying me. Can I drive?"

"No. You know I'm not going to let you."

"Oh, I just thought if you were pulling a pretty woman, I should get to drive."

"I'm not."

"So what are you doing?"

"I'm hiring you."

"No you're not."

"I am. I'm happy to pay. How much is it?"

Jane groaned. "But you're not. I don't do... I don't know, other stuff. Or women."

"I don't want you to do anything you don't want to."

"Look, you seem like a really nice person, and I don't know what I did to make you, I don't know, care about me or something, but... you can't take me out of this life. You can't save me, you can't... you can't change anything. It's too late. So if that's what you want to do, you should just pull over now, let me out, and forget about me."

Maura paused before replying. "If you really think that, why did you get into my car?"

Jane looked at the floor, then back at Maura.

"It's a very nice car. And I was cold. But I think it was a mistake."

"I don't. If you want the truth, I don't really know why I came, except that I've been examining two dead women, both of your profession, all day, and I _really _don't want to find you on my table too."

Jane shrugged. "Maybe that's where I'm destined to be."

Maura slammed on the brakes. "Don't you dare say that."

"Look, Dr Isles-"

"Maura, please."

"Maura, we're from different worlds. You're from a world where if something's wrong, there's always a way to fix it, there's always a way to make problems go away. But in my world, bad things are things you have to live with. There are some problems that don't have solutions."

They were stopped at the side of the road. Maura said nothing, still trying to think of a way to explain, still upset that Jane had said so calmly that she almost expected to end up dead in a morgue some day. Without thinking, Jane reached out and put her hand on Maura's thigh. It was her automatic reaction, to be comforting, to be... Maura's hand covered hers.

"Will you let me take care of you tonight?" Maura asked. Looking into those big hazel eyes, Jane couldn't have said no if she'd wanted to. She turned her hand over to give Maura's a squeeze, then Maura took her hand back to drive again. Jane turned her hand back over, but left it where it was. Maura felt a warmth from it creep up her leg; she smiled and drove a little faster. Jane relaxed in her seat. She might still be suspicious, nervous, unsure, but she couldn't help being comfortable in her own skin. It sort of came with the job.

They reached Maura's house and got out of the car. Maura went inside; Jane followed, watching the other woman with interest.

"What's your real name?" Maura asked. "Or would you rather I called you Tiffany?"

Jane chuckled. "Jessica."

"Liar."

"Fine. It's Jane. But my middle name really is Clementine."

Maura let out a burst of laughter. "Do you drink tea?"

Jane chuckled. "For you, I'd drink pond scum."

Maura got out two cups. "I love your pants," she said, grinning at Jane's leather trousers. Jane grinned back.

"Me too."

"They have zippers all the way down both sides..."

"Yup. You can try them if you want."

"Would they fit?" Maura asked uncertainly.

"Sure."

"And you wouldn't mind?"

"Didn't you ever have a sleepover when you were little? Trying on each other's clothes is practically a nesessity."

Maura made a face. "Actually, I didn't. I went to boarding school when I was ten, but I had my own room, and I didn't really have friends."

Jane raised her eyebrows, then accepted her mug of tea. "Okay, tell you what," she said, softening her expression. "I'll teach you how to have a sleepover. That can be what I do."

Maura looked at her. "I was doing this for you."

"If I don't have fun you can pay me."

"I'm paying you anyway."

Jane shook her head. "No. I can't let you do that. I'm here by choice."

"But I said I would pay-"

"And I said no. I don't need your charity."

"I'm not doing it for charity, it's..."

"I know. I... I think I know. And that's... It's actually pretty nice. But if you paid me, it would be charity, or... Well, it would be different, anyway."

"If I wanted you to have sex with me, would you let me pay you for that?" Maura asked, a wicked glimmer in her eye.

"You don't, though."

"Maybe I changed my mind."

Jane laughed. "I don't know."

"Don't know if you'd do it or don't know if you'd let me pay?"

Jane laughed harder. "Both. But I meant the first one."

"How about if I offered to pay you double?"

"I'd be listening, but I still wouldn't be sure."

"I don't even know what double is. Would you do it for a thousand dollars?"

Jane raised her eyebrows. "Yes. Although, I'm thinking a woman in general, not you."

"Why not me? What's wrong with me?"

"I like you too much."

"Why? You don't know me. You don't have to. This is entirely speculative, but what if? What if I took away your tea and told you you could take my thousand dollars and have sex with me, or leave?"

Jane sipped her tea and held it in her mouth, thinking. She swallowed. "It's very good tea. Would you let me finish it first?"

Maura narrowed her eyes. "Answer the question."

"If you really meant it... I don't know. I'd be very tempted to take your money. But it's hard to answer because I know you don't mean it."

Maura left the kitchen to hang up her coat and take off her shoes. She took off her sweater too, so she was just in jeans and a little white tank top. She winked at Jane.

"How can you be sure?"

Jane took off her own jacket and shoes. She moved to drape them over the couch; Maura hung them up before they even had a chance the cushions.

"Because you can't lie," Jane said simply. "And you told me earlier that you didn't want to sleep with me."

Maura was surprised. "How did you know I can't lie?"

"I lie for a living. You're just... you seem like a very honest, straightforward person."

"You're right. I can't lie. But what if I meant it when I said it, then changed my mind?"

"Why would you have changed your mind?"

"Well, you're very beautiful."

Jane smiled. "And you're very sweet. But you haven't changed your mind. Do you want to learn about sleepovers or not?"

Maura grinned like a little girl at the sparkle in Jane's eyes. "I do."

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A/N: Thanks for reading and for all the follows, favs, and reviews. Please keep reviewing, love you! I hope you liked the chapter xxx


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 **

Jane looked around Maura's house again, kind of cold without her jacket on. She smiled at Maura, who clearly seemed to be feeling a bit awkward. Maura battled through, though. She ignored her racing heart and moved to stand right by Jane.

"Would you like to use my tub?" Maura asked. "You can tell me what I need to get ready, and I'll do that while you have a bath."

"Are you sure?" Jane asked. Maura chuckled.

"Positive."

Jane smiled again. She was here, she was doing this, she was allowing herself to be given this night. She might as well enjoy it as fully as she could.

"Junk food. Pyjamas. Girly movies. Alcohol. Do you have a TV in your bedroom?"

Maura shook her head.

"Laptop, then."

Maura chuckled. "You really do know exactly how to do these things."

Jane made a face. "My mother used to love planning parties."

Maura smiled. "It's nice. I mean, it sounds nice. I've never done anything like it. Hold on."

She left the room and collected a pair of clean pyjamas from her room. She took a clean towel from the linen closet, then went back into her own closet to get a cardigan for Jane as well. She brought the little pile of things back into the main room and handed it to Jane, who had been admiring... everything.

"Thanks," Jane said, brushing Maura's hand as she accepted the things. Brushing Maura's hand on purpose.

Because she just couldn't shake the feeling that this was too good to be true. She couldn't fathom why someone like Maura, with Maura's life, could possibly care about her, unless they actually just wanted her in the same way everyone else did. And while she didn't doubt Maura's honesty and honest intentions, she was good at reading subconscious. And Maura's subconscious was confused, at the very least.

She was never going to ask. She was always going to be kind. But in a way, Jane _wanted _to repay her for the kindness. Jane wanted to give Maura what she wanted, even if Maura was too nice to ask. And Jane didn't really have anything else to give. She was broken, hurting, lost... She didn't think she really had much personality left; she was sure she would be a terrible friend. But sex, sex she could do. She knew how to make people feel wonderful. True, she had never done it for a woman before. But she didn't think pleasing Maura would be harder than pleasing a man; in fact, she thought it would be easier. Maura's body was like hers, it would respond to the same things she did.

And Jane thought she might actually like it too. She raised her eyebrows at herself when she thought this. She was in the bathroom now, locked in, but... She was in Maura's hot tub. And Maura had been in it just an hour ago, and she couldn't help but think about Maura and her kindness, and her smile and her dimple and her elegant body and her shining eyes and...

Maura changed into her usual silk pyjamas and looked in her kitchen for food. She felt like an excited little girl. An excited little girl who was allowed to drink wine. She got out the bottle she'd been drinking earlier, and another one too. She picked up the packet of cookies, and an unopened packet of chips. That was all the junk food she really had, apart from some 80% chocolate made with special cocoa beans that her mother had sent her, and that didn't really count.

She plugged in her laptop and looked through her meagre collection of DVDs. She didn't watch movies much more than she ate junk food. She lay back on her bed. They could always get something from iTunes if they wanted to.

If she stayed very still, she could hear Jane in the tub; the gentle sloshing of the water. She smiled. She was proud of herself, very glad she'd been able to get Jane here, find out Jane's name, see a little of the real person... And Jane would be safe here. For one night at least, she could stop bad things from happening to that woman, that woman who wasn't really so different from her.

It wasn't much. But it was much more personal than the thousands of dollars she donated to charity each year. This was somehow close to her heart. And it wasn't all about pity. In fact, it wasn't much about pity at all. She... She didn't want bad things to happen to Jane. But she wasn't naïve enough to think she could change Jane's life. In a way, she just wanted to do something different. It was quite selfish. The fact that she was being nice was almost irrelevant.

Her mind wandered back to when Jane had been in her car and had scooted up her skirt to show off more of the legs that Maura had been admiring. Maura furrowed her brow as she thought. She had been looking, she couldn't deny it. And when she had been looking, and when she had been looking again just now when Jane took her jacket off... She confessed to herself that she had very much liked what she had seen.

So perhaps that was it after all. Perhaps she had only brought Jane back here because she _did _want to be serviced in the way Jane serviced all her other customers. Maura had never paid for sex. She had actually been paid for sex once. Sort of. In college. Lines were fuzzier in college. But if she... Jane wouldn't do it, anyway. And Maura didn't want to pay her for it.

_But you would do it if she wanted to and you weren't paying her._

Maura groaned. She hated her mind sometimes. But it was probably true. She was quite adventurous in the bedroom, but she had never been with another woman, at least, she had only done it when she felt very little, and there was a man present too, a man who had been the whole reason behind the endeavour. She didn't need to get hung up on her 'sexuality', she was enough of a scientist about it to recognise that people were just attracted to other people, it was something chemical, and sometimes those people were of the opposite sex, but there was nothing to say that a person would never be attracted to someone of the same sex, even if that person thought of themselves as 'straight'.

Jane wasn't the first woman she had found attractive. But this was the first time she'd acted on her attraction. If what she was doing could be called acting on it.

She heard the bathroom door open and went back to the living room. She smiled at the sight of Jane in her pyjamas. Without the make up and clothes, Jane really wasn't that different from Maura. Their looks were different, of course, but now they were dressed similarly, there really wasn't much to separate them.

"That thing is amazing," Jane said.

"It's one of my favourite things about this house," Maura admitted.

"What are the other competitors?" Jane asked. Maura chuckled.

"My bed. The yoga room-"

"You have a room for yoga?"

"Yoga is very relaxing and healthy. Have you ever tried it?"

"Nope. And I sucked at standing on one leg in sports at school."

Maura laughed. "Yoga isn't about standing on one leg. It's about finding inner peace-"

"And that's why they invented valium."

"Diazepam?"

"What's diaze... what?"

Maura sighed. "It's valium. Never mind. And it's bad for you."

"I know. I was joking. Come on. Slumber party time."

Maura smiled. "I found wine."

Jane laughed. "You say that as if you didn't know where it was, and finding it is some kind of achievement."

"Stop making fun of me or I won't give you any."

"You're very silly, Maura."

Maura chuckled as she led Jane to her room. She sat down on the bed and waited for Jane to do the same, then poured her a glass of wine. The chips, cookies, and laptop were between them on the bed. Jane grinned.

"You took my preparation instructions seriously. So. What do you want to do?"

"I don't know. You're the one teaching me."

Jane rolled her eyes. "Okay... uhm... well sleepovers usually end up being kind of a confession marathon. You tell each other your crushes, your worries and stuff. Usually little girls swoon over Zac Efron and complain about their parents. Any comments there?"

Maura made a face. "I guess I could complain about my parents. But I'm not nearly drunk enough to talk about that kind of thing with a stranger."

Jane rolled her shoulders and sipped her wine.

"That's one of the things I'm supposed to be good at. Listening, taking your side, being sympathetic even though I don't really know you."

"Does that happen a lot? People talking to you, I mean?"

Jane laughed. "Oh yeah... I probably learn more secrets than priests do in confession."

"Do people ever tell you bad things?"

"Apart from the obvious 'I never do this, I'm married, I love my wife'?"

Maura chuckled. "Yes, okay, apart from that."

"Sure. People come to my part of town when they're drunk, when they're miserable, when they need affirmation, or a night where they can forget everything, drown their sorrows in pleasure. Things like that. So quite often the men I'm with admit to things."

"Do you ever wish you didn't get told things?"

"No, I mean, once or twice, but usually I find it quite interesting. I don't mind talking about this, it's actually kind of entertaining watching your face, but if I didn't know better I'd say you're doing some kind of study on hookers."

Maura grinned. "That would have been a good excuse, actually. But no. I'm not. I'm interested, though. It's... not like anything I know about."

"Well, it wouldn't be. Anything else you want to know?"

"How old were you when you started?"

"Twenty-two."

"And why did you start?"

"Not answering that one." Jane didn't let her discomfort show; she refused in a calm, kind way, jusr firm enough to tell Maura not to push, but just relaxed enough to suggest that there was no terrible secret she was hiding. Actually, the second suggestion was entirely down to her good acting skills, but if Maura suspected anything, she didn't mention it.

"Do you have a pimp?"

"Yes. Sort of. It's almost like having a licence; I don't know of anyone who, like, freelances."

"And..."

"What?"

"It's the obvious question. I know it's not my place to ask it. But... would you stop, if you could."

"I can't," Jane answered simply.

"But if something happened. I don't know what, but something."

"I don't have enough imagination for that. And it's not good to think about. There's no way out for me, I'll be doing this until I'm too old, and then... Then I... Well, I haven't really worried about it because I don't think I'll get that old."

Maura frowned. "You shouldn't say things like that."

"It's better for me to be happy with the truth than wasting away wishing for something that'll never happen."

Maura sighed. "I suppose so. Look, I didn't mean to pull a pretty woman on you, that's not why you're here at all... But if I did offer-"

"I would say no, because you don't know what you're offering, you don't know me, you're confused enough as it is, and I'm not going to complicate things for you."

"I'd like to do something nice for you."

"You already are. I'm warmer and more comfortable than I've been in months. But this is just one night, Maura, and it can't be more than that."

"Why not?"

"Because I can't get used to it. That would just make things harder."

Maura had a brainwave. "Do you have regulars?"

"Like people I have a kind of arrangement with? I've had one or two in the past."

"So you could be a regular for me?"

"A platonic regular that I have slumber parties with during which I discuss my profession and drink your expensive wine?"

"And you'd get to use my tub. Every week."

Jane couldn't help being tempted.

"Why would you want that?"

"Because... I want to be your friend," Maura said finally. Jane let out a loud laugh.

"My _friend_?"

"Why is that funny?"

Jane bit her lip. "It's not, really. But Maura, we can't be friends. We live in completely different worlds."

"So?"

"So, it just... Why would you want to be my friend?"

"I like you. You're interesting. Do you like me?"

"Of course."

"Be honest. I won't be hurt, and I'll still pay you."

Jane smiled and took Maura's hand; the blonde was beginning to look rather miserable. "Maura, I like you. Honestly. You're very sweet. I just don't know why you'd want to be my friend."

"But you like me?"

"Yes. I just said so."

"Then why shouldn't you agree to my... offer."

"When would it be?"

"Friday night?"

"That's the busiest night..."

"I'll pay. I have money, it's not an issue."

"Maura, you can't pay me to be your friend."

"No. But I can pay you to be here, and maybe you'll become my friend."

"This is ludicrous. It's like a gay, Boston, slower moving version of Pretty Woman."

"No it isn't. You're far more beautiful than Julia Roberts."

Jane grinned. "And you're way sexier than Richard Gere. Oh, fine. We can give it a go. But... You still have all of tonight to change your mind, and I really wouldn't blame you. And you should know that I'm only agreeing because of the hot tub."

"Duly noted. Cookie?" Maura offered, grinning back.

* * *

A/N: Thanks for reading and for all the response! Love you. If you want to find me and talk to me I'm zanna_sk on twitter so you can share your thoughts with me there, or with a message or review - I'm always interested to hear them. Take care xxx


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Maura woke up to movement beside her, but stayed still as she watched Jane through her eyelashes. She watched her get up out of bed and change quickly back into her own clothes.

Jane folded the soft cardigan and silk pyjamas, so much nicer than any of the clothes she owned. She glanced at Maura's sleeping form on the bed and sighed. She didn't like leaving this way, but she really had no other option. A few hours with the woman had convinced her of this even further. Whatever her initial reasoning for the invitation, it was clear to Jane that Maura was one of the nicest people she would ever meet, and nothing would make her take advantage of that. Perhaps Maura did need a friend, but Jane was sure that Maura didn't need a friend like her.

She made sure she had everything. She didn't even consider taking any money, even though Maura had taken the appropriate amount of cash out of her purse. She would be in trouble with the club, but honestly, when wasn't she? She couldn't take Maura's money. The kindness, the safety, the relaxation, the... love... had been more than enough. She'd had the nicest night she'd had in years. She wouldn't taint the memory by taking money for it.

Maura was still asleep, her blonde hair fanned out on the pillow, so peaceful and still, an innocent little girl. Jane wasn't naïve enough to think Maura was as innocent as she looked, but lying there, eyes closed, breathing gentle... She was beautiful in such a pure, good way, that Jane thought she might be seeing the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. She took a deep, shuddering breath, and tiptoed over to Maura's side of the bed.

She leaned down, inhaling the fruity scent of Maura's soft hair, still half in braids that she had done earlier. She sighed. There was nothing she could do. There was no way out of her life, there just wasn't. This had been what she was afraid of, this feeling... She'd had one night, one night of this amazing, kind woman, and already it made her heart ache to let it go.

She kissed Maura's forehead, her lips lingering much longer than they should have. Maura stirred.

She had feigned sleep wonderfully as Jane moved about the room, but the kiss was too much. She murmured something, and gave Jane just enough time to move away before she opened her eyes.

"You're leaving," she stated. Jane nodded, not knowing quite what to say.

"I didn't mean to wake you," she said eventually. Maura sat up.

"I don't mind. I have to be up for work soon anyway. I'll see you on Friday?"

Jane frowned. She should say no. She had to say no. She couldn't, she couldn't do this. She couldn't do this. She _couldn't do this. _It was too good, to surreal... She was living in a dream and she couldn't do it because... Because she lived her life balanced on a knife edge, and something like this was almost certain to tip her off into the abyss in one direction or another. There was no way it could work. Dreams were dangerous, terrifying, the worst things you could have... Because the only thing that was ever guaranteed from a dream was that you would wake up. You would wake up, and you would never get the dream back.

She couldn't do it. She had to say no. She had to leave now, while she still had the strength. She couldn't stay, she couldn't hold on, because the ending, the completely inevitable ending, would destroy her. She couldn't do this.

"I'll see you on Friday," she echoed. She moved to leave the room but Maura got up and followed her.

"You should take the money," she said.

Jane shook her head. "No, Maura, I had such a good time, I..." she trailed off as Maura picked the bills up off the counter and pressed them into her hand.

"Take it," Maura insisted. Jane shook her head. She might have no willpower, she might be powerless to resist this woman, but in this case, this one thing, this one thing she could stick to.

"No," she said, putting the money down again. Before she could stop herself, she brushed Maura's cheek with her slender fingers, cupping her jaw with her hand.

"Let me do this," she said softly. "Let me have my pride, Maura."

Maura held the hand to her face, leaning into it. She smiled.

"Why do I feel as if I'm never going to see you again?"

Jane sighed and reluctantly took her hand back. She could feel tears welling up in her eyes and turned her head away, but Maura took a step towards her, refusing to let her hide.

"Don't," Jane whispered.

Maura felt tears prickling in her own eyes as she reached out to hold Jane's arm. Jane looked up at her; their eyes met and seemed to say everything neither of them could say. Tears trickled down Jane's cheeks, but she smiled. She moved free of Maura's grip and put her shoes on.

"Goodbye, Maura," she said quietly. Tears were flowing freely from Maura's eyes too but she just stood there, arms hanging limply at her sides, as Jane walked slowly towards the door and let herself out.

The lock clicked back into place. In a daze, Maura walked towards the kitchen and found herself a tissue. She blew her nose, then used another one to dry her eyes. She checked the time. She really did have to get ready for work now. Still in a kind of trance, she went to shower. She dressed well, as always, but she found none of her usual joy in selecting her fashionable ensemble. The empty ache in her chest just refused to budge, no matter how many times she told herself she didn't know Jane, that Jane had the right to choose her own life, that there was nothing she could do...

Jane settled in her seat at the back of the bus, watching the sun rise over the grey streets of Boston. She had done the right thing. She had been strong enough, after all. She was still crying silently, crying for the loss of something she had never even had.

An hour later when she got home, she still couldn't shake Maura's little giggle, her dimples, her sparkling eyes, her soft, kind smile. She had felt so warm in that bed, so cared for, so good... She didn't know if she would ever feel that way again.

Her apartment was freezing cold, and she still had no money for rent. She pulled her battered old suitcase out from under the bed and filled it with the only possessions she had that mattered to her. These consisted of a photo album, some very old jewellery that she wasn't really proud not to have sold because she would have done in a flash if it had been worth anything, and some clothes and shoes, just in case. She changed into her sneakers, then hauled the case up to take it round to her mother's.

Angela was sleeping; Jane didn't like to wake her. She pulled on another sweater, then set off for the clinic. Her test results were clear, as usual. She was careful. Then she set off back home. The cold air burned her lungs, but she almost liked the pain – it distracted her from everything else she was feeling.

Maura arrived at work before anyone else was there. She changed into her black scrubs and tied her hair back, then went to examine their victim again. She found nothing, nothing to help them.

"Can't you tell me anything?" she exclaimed suddenly, her pained voice catching in her dry throat as tears threatened to escape her eyes again.

"Nothing? I need you to help me help you, I'm so sorry but I need something more," she said, staring helplessly at the cold, dead face on her table. But it was no good. She found nothing.

Jane shivered. She was almost home, not that it would be any warmer there. She considered going back to her mother's, enjoying the cable TV she paid for, but she decided she'd rather be in her own space. She started on the stairs- and stopped.

"You never came back to the club last night. He's not happy."

She didn't know this one. He must be new. She looked at the ground, wishing she could stare him down but sensing it would be better not to bother him.

"I was working," she said firmly.

"Oh, right. So you have money for him?"

He was definitely new. Chasing up on hookers for their tax, she guessed you could call it, was no job for someone really in with the boss.

"I pay him on Fridays," she lied, on the basis that if he was new he might well not know the ropes yet. Which were, the boss got paid as soon as you did.

"Oh yeah?" the guy asked angrily.

Jane looked up, trying to smile in a friendly kind of way. "Yeah, he prefers it in a lump rather than lots of little bits."

The guy smiled back – Jane actually had a moment of thinking he'd bought it before he hit her across the face. She stumbled backwards, seeing stars.

"Bullshit," he said angrily. He hit her again, splitting her lip this time; the first punch had almost certainly given her a black eye. He yanked her to her feet.

"Don't you ever lie to me again," he spat into her face. "Now. The money."

Jane fixed her eyes on a piece of gum trodden into the floor.

"I don't have it," she said. He slammed her against the wall; she grunted as the wind was knocked out of her.

"Of course you have it you lying slut. You just said you were working all night."

"I wasn't-"

This earned her another punch, to the gut this time.

"He saw you get into a car. With another woman. Very interesting. So what was that? Don't tell me she was your friend."

He laughed sarcastically and Jane's lack of response earned her another punch.

"She gave me a lift," Jane gasped, only standing because he was holding her up. There was a time when she would have fought this, but she'd been in the business long enough now to know fighting back only made it worse. He was stronger than her, and while she was fast enough to get a punch or two in, it would only make the eventual outcome even worse.

He grabbed hold of her hair and dragged her down the stairs.

"Boss wants to see you," he said, shoving her into the back of a rather beaten up car. She flopped onto the seat, pretty much resigned to whatever was going to happen to her. She closed her eyes tight and thought of Maura braiding her hair. At least she had this to hold on to. At least she had something.

* * *

A/N: Thanks for reading, sorry, I hope you liked it, please review! Love you xxx


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Jane adjusted herself in the car so she was as comfortable as she could be. She was pretty sure her nose was broken, but she could still smell the fact that her driver had almost certainly passed gas. She was cold, she was hungry, she hurt all over... She closed her swollen eyes and thought about Maura's big, soft, warm bed. The memory was so recent she could almost feel Maura's breath on her still.

It had been strange, sleeping in a bed with someone else when she hadn't fucked them first, and even then, she didn't ever sleep long. Actually, she hadn't slept much in Maura's bed either... It had been too weird. She didn't service women, she hadn't lied to Maura about that, but... Honestly she thought it might have been easier if that was what Maura had wanted. Sex was something she knew how to do, something she _really _knew how to do. It would have been something she could have given Maura and been happy to accept payment for. It would have been within her boundaries, so much more within them than... whatever had happened last night was. Friends were _so _not behind the line. She chuckled, thinking of 'the line is a dot to you'. She still found that funny.

She only opened her eyes when she was hauled out of the car.

"Thinking about something nice?" her new friend asked her, dragging her into the back entrance of the club. He took her into the office and dumped her in the chair across from the desk. She sat up; she kept her shoulders hunched. Arrogance was pointless.

"Tiffany. I hear you owe me some money..."

His soft, slippery voice made Jane want to throw up. She swallowed the bile in her throat and looked up.

"I don't have anything for you," she said.

"Now, I'd like to believe you. I'd really like to do that, Tiffany. I hate disputes of this kind, and I am involved in far too many of them." He leaned back in his chair, interlocking his fingers over his chest.

"But I can't believe you, Tiffany. Last night you got in a car, a _very _nice car, belonging to a very nice looking _woman_, apparently. She was a client?"

"No, I mean, yes, sort of..."

"She didn't pay?" He looked over at the friend, laughing. "She looked like she had money to everyone else."

"She had money. I wouldn't take it."

"But you spent the night with her?"

Jane couldn't be bothered to explain. "Yes."

"Tiffany, would you please tell me, in case I've forgotten... What is my policy on 'freebies'/"

"No freebies," Jane said quietly.

"No freebies," he repeated, leaning forward to his desk.

"Did you give this woman a freebie?"

"I..."

"Yes or no?"

"Yes."

"Do you want to give me her address because she refused to pay you?"

"No! I mean, no, she offered me money but I didn't take it."

"I see. Leave us please," he said. Jane watched the new guy leave; the boss got up and locked the door behind him.

"You're lucky, Tiffany," he said, leaning against his desk in front of her. "You're lucky that I like you. You're lucky that you haven't been trouble in a long time. You're lucky that I know you're clean..."

Jane was already up, kissing his neck, knowing exactly what she had to do. The worst part was she didn't even care. He was far from the worst she'd ever been with, and while she hated him, she kind of liked having this control over him. For a few moments, he was at her mercy, and it was one of the best feelings she ever got these days.

Maura didn't hear anything. She didn't think she would, she didn't really know what she thought, or what she had been thinking. She just wanted to. The next few days drifted by in a sticky haze of uncomfortable contemplation. Maura found herself questioning things she had never questioned, assessing things about herself she had never assessed.

Her body was her weapon. It had to be. There were only two ways for a woman to go in a place like this – either to become like a man, but always be inferior... or they could do what Maura had done.

She had never really thought of herself as attractive. All through her school years she had been quiet, teased by the other girls for her hard working nature and passionate interest in science. But she had blossomed, somewhere between her freshman year at college and her graduation, changing from meek girl who shied from male attention, to a confident, well dressed woman.

In a way her confidence had always been there; it had crept out when she had picked the lock to the den where the TV was, to watch all the cable channels. Or when she had sent away for the brochure for an English boarding school at just ten years old.

And now she was... here. Maura was always having 'relationships' with men. She had met some interesting ones in her time, and while there had been one that she might have been in love with, maybe even two... Well, she was here. Single. Living alone in the beautiful house she had earned, at the top of her career, with the respect of tens if not hundreds of professionals both medical and law enforcement.

There was no doubt about it. Maura Isles was a hugely successful woman. And she liked being a woman. She liked choosing and buying clothes and shoes, liked styling her hair and applying her make up. She liked being admired; while her mild dislike for people that she had developed at an early age still lingered, she felt a warm tingle spread through her body whenever a man looked at her.

Being desired was still something she craved. An adopted child, given up by her biological parents, whoever they were... She knew very little. Her adoptive parents, and she considered them her true parents, did not know anything either. So they said. Maura longed for information, longed to know where she came from, longed to know why the woman who had given birth to her had not wanted to keep her. Had not loved her enough... Though she was resigned to not knowing, her craving for love remained.

So she showed herself off, she went out on dates, she did her best not to ruin them with medical diagnoses to early on. And she was loved. She was loved, and she liked it. She was good at having fun. In all other areas she was, she knew, a perfectionist, but letting go with men was something she had mastered almost immediately – she had always known it was necessary.

But.

And she did not know why there should be a but, after all this time of satisfaction, contentment with her lot... She had a happy, comfortable life – in a way she was angry that there had to be a 'but' at all.

It was there, though. Niggling in the back of her mind as it had been all week. The but had made her seek out Tiffany, find out about her, watch her, study her... Probably in a similar way to the way the murderer was studying the prostitutes he chose as his victims. Maura shuddered.

So she had found Tiffany, talked to her, and now she found herself...

Not as she should be. Not detached. Not in control.

Emotional involvement was to be avoided. Maura did not enjoy it; she did not have girlfriends to shop with or cry with or hug whenever they met. She didn't like hugs or that kind of physical contact. She did not like to snuggle.

Yet she had spent one of the happiest nights of her life in bed with someone, even though the night had not involved sex. Whether or not there had been an undercurrent, the only thing that had actually been shared was friendship, and Maura had loved every bittersweet moment of it.

And now she was gone. Jane, the mysterious, inexplicable woman who Maura didn't understand. Jane, the complicated, battered person who Maura couldn't help.

Perhaps she was only good enough to help the dead. She had hated working with live patients when she'd had to as a student. And perhaps Jane was beyond her help, too.

But Jane, helping Jane, being with Jane, getting to know Jane, was all Maura could think about. She had never had a friend, not a proper one. It wasn't something that had ever bothered her, but by Friday she was almost miserable about what she was lacking.

She arrived home from work, the evening wore on. Her last hope that Jane might come, that she might want this, that there might be something more, faded into her brightly lit living room as her mind wandered behind the pristine kitchen counter and over to the wine rack. Why not?

She got up from the couch and took her corkscrew out of the drawer, then selected a bottle and uncorked it in a fluid motion – whatever Maura did, she was good at. The sharp scent of the red wine wafted up to her nose and she inhaled deeply. She would let the wine breathe before she drank any, but the smell was enough to keep her going for now. She went to her bedroom to change, putting on her silk pyjamas and warm, soft robe.

Sitting on the couch enveloped in warmth and comfortable cushions, her mind was incongruously unsettled. She didn't want to forget Jane, but she couldn't really see an alternative. There was nothing she could do unless Jane wanted her to, and Jane had made it clear that she didn't. To complicate matters, Maura knew that her feelings towards Jane were... well, complex. And she was fairly sure Jane was aware of this as well.

She got up and poured herself a glass of wine, wishing for... she didn't even know what. She sipped it, but her sip turned into a gulp as she thought of the unsolved case, the solitary evening that would stretch into a solitary weekend-

And then her gulp became a splutter as she heard a loud knock at the door.

* * *

A/N: Currently wifiless, to update this had to borrow a 3G dongle to plug into my laptop, under the pretense of job hunting! So I hope you're grateful! Love you all, hope you liked the chapter, and sorry I haven't been updating anything - after September 3rd I should be much better. Xxx


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Maura got up and walked slowly through her sitting room to the front door. Her heart was racing; she was almost afraid to look through the peep hole. She tried to steady her breathing, she was sure whoever was on the other side of the door would be able to hear her.

"Hello," she said, opening the door abruptly. "I didn't think you would come."

"I didn't think I would either," Jane said quietly, feeling somehow undressed in her jeans and sweater. She wasn't even wearing any make up.

After she had gotten back to her flat, she hadn't known what to do. She had felt strange, the way she always did after she'd slept with someone. They told you that feeling went away, but it never did, not for her at least. It wasn't exactly a bad feeling, just... A kind of detachment from her body. As if she didn't really know who she was.

_At least he wouldn't be asking her for money any more. She sighed, pacing around the small space, wondering what to do with the rest of her day. And with the rest of her life. Future hadn't ever been something she thought about. She made sure she had somewhere to sleep and food to eat, and if she had that... All she had to do was keep on living. There was no greater plan. She couldn't afford to have dreams. The only thing dreams ever brought to someone like her was disappointment, and she had been disappointed enough times. _

_She had a shower. The water was ice cold but she still stayed under it for almost half an hour, scrubbing every inch of her skin until she felt clean. It wasn't related to sex, not consciously at least. She didn't feel dirty because she had just fucked someone to get something she needed. In fact, she felt almost satisfied, almost empowered... The excessively long shower was just habit. _

_Or that was what she told herself. _

_She found some clothes, jeans and a shirt and a warm sweater. She hadn't paid her rent; her most important belongings were already at her mother's. After a moment's thought, she heaped up all her clothes and shoved them into a couple of bin bags. They weren't that important to her, it was a practicality thing. _

_When she was warm and dry and dressed, she flopped down on her bed, wincing at the lumpy mattress, and let her head whir away at whatever it was doing. She didn't pay much attention. _

_It was beginning to grow dark outside. Her mind suddenly settled on Dr Isles... And just wouldn't move. Not only was her bed warm, _she _was warm, and Jane... really wanted to be warm. _

_Thinking too much was overrated. Maura had wanted her to come on Friday night, it was Friday night, and she would go. That was all there was to it. She didn't know what she was doing or what she wanted, but she wasn't working tonight and she had nothing better to do. _

"What the hell happened to your face?" Maura exclaimed.

Jane cursed under her breath. She should have put on make up before she left, she didn't want Maura to be worrying about her.

"It's nothing, I'm fine," she said. She was still standing on the doorstep.

Maura said nothing for a moment. It clearly was not nothing, but she didn't want to push Jane; it was already so surreal that she was here, Maura was afraid that at any moment she would say or do the wrong thing and Jane would disappear.

"Come in," Maura said suddenly, embarrassed to have left Jane out in the cold like that. Jane entered the house appreciatively; Maura closed the door behind her and followed her into the main room. Jane lingered uncertainly beside the kitchen counter. Her injuries were even more apparent and horrifying in the bright light.

"Will you let me look at you? I'm a doctor... Is it just your face?"

"I'm fine, really," Jane muttered, shying away as Maura stepped towards her to look at her swollen cheek and split lip.

"You know that you're not," Maura said. Her face was close to Jane's now; when she spoke Jane could taste and smell her sweet, warm breath. Jane couldn't help smiling, even though it hurt.

"What?" Maura asked.

"Nothing. Just... Nothing."

Maura sighed. She went through to her office to get her medical kit. "Take off your shirt," she called from the other room. Jane was taken by surprise.

"Do what?"

Maura came back in. "Take off your shirt. I don't care if you don't tell me how you came to be beaten up, but you clearly have been, and I'm prepared to bet these," she gestured to Jane's face, "are not the only injuries."

Jane rolled her eyes, then peeled off her shirt and sweater. She had bruises on her ribs and stomach, and marks on her throat. Maura held in a gasp. Her mind flashed back to the poor women who had been on her autopsy table in the past few weeks. She was terrified about how dangerous Jane's life must be, and it was only just hitting home.

She bent down and looked at Jane's stomach, then gently pressed her hand to it. Jane gasped.

"Sorry!" Maura said.

"No, it's okay, your hands are just cold," Jane said gently.

"Okay. Then, I'm going to put pressure on different areas of your torso. I want you to tell me if it hurts."

"Don't you usually work on dead people?" Jane asked.

"Yes. But you have to be trained to work on live ones too."

"What do you prefer?"

"I think it's obvious, considering my job."

"Yeah... Why do you like dead people better, then?"

"They talk less, for one."

Jane laughed, then made a pained noise.

"Was that me or the laughing?" Maura asked.

"The laughing. But OW! That one was you."

"I'm sorry. I'm going to have to press there again – your ribs are definitely bruised. I don't think any of them are broken, but you would need an x-ray to be sure."

"I don't need an x-ray. I – aaaaah – trust you."

Maura bit her lip as she ran her hand over Jane's ribs again.

"I'm... fairly certain that none are broken. But you should really-"

"Nah, your diagnosis is good enough for me."

"You should still take it easy for a few days. You're very banged up."

"I've noticed," Jane said sarcastically. "But tonight'll be my only night off. I'm late with my rent."

"I could-"

"No, you couldn't, Maura," Jane said firmly. Maura didn't push it. She knew Jane didn't like being given money.

"So... why did you come here?" Maura asked. She went back to her office; Jane waited to reply until she had reappeared with a bottle of pills.

"I... I really don't know. I kind of forgot I looked so bad, I might not have come if I'd properly thought about it."

"I'm glad you did. One every four hours, for the pain."

Jane popped two into her mouth and swallowed. Maura opened her mouth in protest, but gave up before she started. She knew it was pointless.

"I'm glad I did too. I just... I wanted to come. I was thinking about you.

"What were you thinking about me?" Maura couldn't help asking.

"I was... That's a strange question."

"Is it? I would have thought it was quite a normal thing to be curious about."

"Well yeah, but... I guess people don't usually ask."

Maura sat down on the couch. "I'm not people."

"I was thinking about how nice you were, and how well I slept beside you in your bed."

"I slept well then too."

"Have you been thinking about me?" Jane asked, trying to get comfy on the couch but not really managing.

"The painkillers will start working better soon," Maura said, noticing Jane's shuffling. "And yes. I have been thinking about you. I've hardly stopped thinking about you all week."

Jane smiled. She couldn't help it, even though it made her mouth sting as the movement pulled at the cut on her lip. "And what were you thinking about me?"

Maura sighed. "I was worried about you. I... You're at risk. The case I'm working on right now, the case they're getting nowhere with, shows me just how much. And you're... You're too good for the life you're in."

"How do you know?" Jane asked, her tone without emotion.

"I just do," Maura said firmly. "I think everyone is. I don't think you should have to do that."

"Maybe I like doing it."

"No."

"How do you know?"

"I just... know. Do you like it?"

Jane rolled her eyes. "No. But I'd like collecting garbage or working in a fast food joint or cleaning toilets even less."

"I don't believe you."

"Believe what you want."

"You wouldn't have to clean toilets."

"But what would I do? Anyway, it... It gives me a sense of power. And I don't get to feel powerful that often. What I do, it might not be great, but it makes me feel strong, you know?"

"I don't know. But I suppose I can see what you mean... In that case, why are you here?"

"What do you mean? Is it related?"

"I think it has to be. I think, if you were happy, you wouldn't be here."

"Happy..." Jane said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Are you even happy, Maura?"

Maura bit her lip. "I suppose not."

"There you go then. I don't think many people are actually any better than I am. I'm just more honest about it."

"My line of work isn't dangerous."

"I didn't think mine was either. I'm careful. I can look after myself."

It was Maura's turn to be sarcastic. "Clearly."

"To answer your earlier question... I'm here because I want to be. And lately I haven't been able to think of many things I want. So I'm also here because I'm selfish."

"It's not selfish. I mean, I asked you to be here. I want you here."

"But I want to be with you just as much as you want to be with me."

"It was selfish of me to ask you to come, when I knew you wouldn't take money."

Jane rolled her eyes again. "I wouldn't have made any tonight anyway, not looking like this."

Maura didn't say anything. She was thinking. Thinking, trying, pleading with her brain to find a way to help, to do something for Jane...

"Some people can't be saved," Jane said quietly.

"Because they don't want to be?"

"No... Because there's no way to save them."

"I don't believe that."

"You can believe what you want."

Maura reached out and took Jane's hand. Jane was surprised, but didn't take her hand away.

"You deserve so much better," Maura whispered. Jane's first instinct was to take offence, but for once, she actually thought about what Maura would be feeling, and when she did that there was nothing to take offence at.

"So do you," she whispered back. You could have cut the tension in the air between them with a knife. Jane ran her hand up Maura's arm until it was resting on her shoulder, her thumb stroking her collarbone. She turned on the couch and leaned forward, and when their lips touched neither of them could say what it was, what it meant.

Jane broke off the kiss and moved back a little. Maura stared at her, wide eyed, breathing heavily, her heart thumping in her chest...

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A/N: Thanks for reading, please review! Love you xxx


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

A/N: Huge thanks to Serena for being the most entertaining proof reader I've ever had (complete with capital letters and massive essays about Grey's – perfection). And she doesn't even read this fic – what a babe!

* * *

Love isn't something you have any control over. It can't be explained or contained, and if you let it get past a certain point, there's nothing you can do to stop it.

_Her mouth was less than an inch from mine and I couldn't move, I hardly dared to breathe. She was pressed against me, we were sitting on my couch, my new, expensive couch, and I had no idea what was going to happen. All I knew was that I wanted it to. I tried to tell her this with my eyes as I tried to read what her eyes were telling me. I didn't want to speak, neither of us did, for fear that it would break the move, break the magical enthralling tension that had us locked together, frozen in time as we waited for fate to guide us. _

_She pressed her hand to my cheek. She was good at this. I was glad, I was glad to be with someone who was good. I blinked, and I was relieved that she was still there when my eyes opened again after that split second of darkness. The light in the room was almost blinding, so bright and clean. _

_One of us had to move again. She had been the one to end the kiss; I wished she would be the one to resume it. But I could tell that she was waiting for me, and I didn't really have a choice. I didn't want one. All I wanted was... her. _

_Love. That's what it was. Love is so much more complicated than a lot of people seem to think. Love makes people do so many things they shouldn't, love and passion... So wonderful and so dangerous at the same time. I hadn't known her long, I still was hardly sure whether to call her Tiffany or Jane, but I loved her. I knew that I loved her. And that was all that mattered. That was what was bringing us together, that was what was holding us, trapping us, stopping us in our tracks as we waited for some supreme force to tell us what to do next. _

_Nothing happened. There were no instructions, and we still didn't move. We were both breathing heavily, her hot breaths mingling with mine, whooshing out from between her soft, gentle lips. My hands, pressed to my sides, ached to touch her. I longed to hold her, to embrace her, to be close to her, but I didn't know what it would mean, and I was afraid, so afraid. _

_I could hear my own heart hammering in my chest; it was so loud I was sure she could hear it too. I wondered what she thought of me, of what I was doing, of what I wanted... But she wanted it too. Her eyes, bright and focused, stared intently at mine as I tried to resist the blush that crept up to my cheeks. I stared back, wanting to be as strong as she was. She made me feel horribly naïve, but not intentionally. I didn't feel uncomfortable, exactly, just nervous. It was all so new, so unexpected, so powerful. _

_I pushed my back away from the couch and put my hand on her shoulder. She nodded almost imperceptibly, and then my mouth was on hers again and this time I was pushing, I was strong, and I knew exactly what to do. Her tongue met mine in a fascinatingly delicate, intoxicating way as her experienced hands slid under my shirt. I gasped as she unfastened my bra, not fumbling with it as most of my previous lovers had done. Everything she did was sure, smooth, easy... I was shy, but my confidence began to grow and I began to explore her body with my fingertips. I did it for myself, because I wanted to, but her reaction showed me that she wanted my hands there too. She took off her shirt, mine too, and manoeuvred me so I was lying on the couch. _

_I could see my chest rising and falling with my desperate gasps for air; my back arched involuntarily as she slid her had up from the waistband of my pants to my chest; my nipples tightened and my skin prickled with excitement and anticipation. _

_She was beautiful. She stood up to take off her pants and I had a full view of her slender, elegant body. My eyes were captured by the swell of her breasts and I smiled at her. She smiled back and leaned in so I could take one in my mouth. The feeling as I sucked was like nothing else I'd ever felt, and when she moved to reciprocate every cell in my body seemed to hum with pleasure. _

_I wriggled out of the remainder of my clothes and it was completely natural for her to settle between my parted legs. She planted soft, exquisite kisses all over my body and I longed to do the same to hers. I found enough focus and strength to put my longing into her next kiss to my mouth, and she let me reverse our positions. _

_My hand seemed to find its way to her centre of its own accord, and her moan of delight sent ripples of pleasure through my own body. We moved together, caressing each other's skin. I understood the responses of her body almost perfectly; it was so much like my own I felt very deeply connected to it. I guided her to a climax at almost exactly the same moment as her skilful fingers produced one in me, and then I was soaring through a bright white sky glittering with gold, and she was with me, holding my hand. I hardly knew my own name – all I knew was her. All I knew was love. _

Maura absent mindedly pulled the blanket off the back of the couch down to cover them with before nestling back down into Jane's arms and running her fingers through Jane's wild, tangled curls. Jane pulled her even closer.

"I..." she said softly, but Maura spoke before she could finish.

"You don't need to say anything."

Jane nodded, smiling despite the fact that she hurt all over. The cut on her mouth stung, her bruised ribs throbbed, and her head was pounding from the beating she had taken earlier, despite the pain meds Maura had given her. Maura noticed her smile morph into a grimace.

"Are you okay? You must be sore..."

"Yeah," Jane said, wincing as she sat up. "Worth it, though."

Maura sat up too. "I'm glad. But I'm so-"

"Don't say it," Jane warned. "Because I hope to God you're not. I'm not. Please don't be."

Maura kissed her gently. "I'm not, then. Do you want anything?"

Jane sighed. "Sleep," she admitted.

"I know you like my bed," Maura said, smiling. She stood up; Jane grinned at her comfort with her body, then followed her to the bedroom.


End file.
